Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Narssism & adoption

Recently I have been accused of misquoting someone on my blog whom I have the misfortune of 'knowing' on Y!A.  I quite happily responded to this person that I had quoted them word for word so if the comments aren't there now this person deleted the comments.  To be quite honest I couldn't be bothered looking as I know I had quoted the person.  I am not bothered this person was negative of this as I have obviously hit a nerve plus I have no problems with being cyber stalked.  Anybody who objects to me being honest of my views on adoption, coercion, infant adoption, wanting to educate people .... well .... that's your problem not mine.  Maybe it is about time you look at yourself and ask why you object to a mother who was coerced into surrendering being negative about infant adoption.  It doesn't take an intelligent person to work out that this is based on my own experience, the way people have treated me, educating myself and listening to other experiences. 

The same person accuses me of being a liar yet has recently decided that yes coercion was still going on until the 1980's.  Well except it doesn't apply to me even though my son was born in 1981 as I'm really a liar.  Yeah .... right ....as if I am going to keep up the 'lies' that I started in 2004.  I hope this person is still reading as it's been over eight years now and I am still telling the truth.  If I was a liar I would have been caught out so many times by now. 

It actually scares the heck out of me that this person is a licensed foster parent as "she" believes that more children should be removed at birth.  There are too many forced adoptions now without people like this wanting to inflame the situation more.  This person is too uneducated to understand that there are some children should never have been removed in the first place.  There are other children who should be removed from their parents yet they are slipping the net.  I have nothing against children being removed from their parents if they are being abused.  I have nothing against social services being involved with families.  This happens and it's great every time there is a success story.  There is nothing wrong with a social worker with parents so they become better parents or that they get the support they need.  Social work isn't just about removing abused children it is also there to help keep families together.  The point is nobody can know if someone will be a bad parent or a good parent until they have children.

Narcissism isn't something I thought about a friend talked about it in reference to her (reunited) son.  It got me thinking about my own son and his behaviour.  Other (online) friends started bringing this up due to me  being at my wit's end with him.  This a good definition of narcissism:


What is Narcissism? Narcissism is an unhealthy focus on self that affects others in unhealthy ways. Everyone to some extent is narcissistic. Most people ‘want the good stuff’ and from a psychological point of view: everything we do is for some emotional ‘payoff’ - in order to feel better about ourselves and life.
The definitive quality of healthy narcissism is obtaining self-gratifying results in ways that don’t damage other people, whereas unhealthy narcissism works from the mindset: “I win, and I don’t care if you lose,” or, “Your loss is my win.” Narcissism is self-absorption coupled with destructive behaviour, and is a world-wide epidemic. 

My son has openly admitted to me and other people that he is self obsessed.  I have seen for myself how obsessed he is.  There have been many times that he has accused me off doing and saying things he has said and done.  Even when I have been able to prove that I am in the right he has said that if I am say I'm in the right then fair enough.  He has come across as treating me like a child who needs pacifying instead of admitting that he is in the wrong.  He believes he is in the right all the time.

No comments:

Post a Comment