Friday, 3 January 2014

Start of a new year

Last year was a particularly bad year for me but not because of adoption specifically.  What made me miserable and severely depressed was having a neighbour from hell and problems with one of our forums.

With our neighbour from hell his behaviour got gradually worse.  We had the ongoing battle that he was ringing up our housing association about the smell coming from our garden and that we weren't clearing up after our dogs.  We were clearing up after them and every time an officer came out she could see we were being honest.  I gave up trying to plant anything as he would pull the plants and chuck them across our garden.  Every time he wanted to mow his front garden he would insist on coming through our garden, often with his dog instead of going through the other neighbour's even though he got on with her.  He would deliberately make a noise at all times of the day and night, peer through our windows to try and upset our dogs.  I also had to deal with abuse over imagined wrongs but he would never do it when he knew Rick was about.  I wouldn't go out into our garden if he was about and would go in if he went outside while I was.  Our housing officer was great as she knew how bad his behaviour was and he was just out to cause trouble.  She also spoke to other neighbours so she knew it was only him that didn't like us.

The final straw came when, one evening, when he started being abusive to me and I finally lost it.  I didn't swear at him or threatened me but he was threatening towards me.  Rick heard what was being said, shot out and told me to go in and ring the police which I did.

Due to us having the police out it gave the housing association more grounds to start the process off.  I couldn't take any more and had been in tears the last two times we had seen our housing officer.  One of the other officers came out to see us and assured us that when the neighbour rang up to complain they would tell him straight if they felt he was being obsessive, that nobody would come out to see us unless they felt they had grounds to and that he would be told this was the last straw.  We were told it could take up to a year ri evict him and we couldn't put up with it so we moved and are now with a different housing association.  It was a shame to get to that point but we needed to do what was best for us.

The problems we were having with one of our forums was due to someone wanting to join it and he was very angry  and depressed.  With that forum we were advised to ask for some information due to a couple of members being suicidal and with one we didn't know how to get hold of her apart from her mobile number.  We contacted the police were able to find her just on her number and IP number which was amazing so she is getting the help she needs.  Anyway this man started sending me nasty and threatening emails so we contacted the police.  In the meantime he joined up with the forum with a different username and false information then started posting nasty and threatening messages mostly aimed at me.  The police were able to get hols of him quite quickly by email and he was completely honest about what he had done and that he was quite happy to be arrested.  The police officer who was dealing with the matter came round to us and asked me what I wanted as there was enough reason to arrest him.  I believe this man is severely depressed and simply need help so arresting him wouldn't solve his problems so I told him that.  He was great and managed to get professional help for the man so a good result as the man wanted real help.

At certain times of the year I become severely depressed because of adoption so all that was going on added to how I was feeling so 2013 was a dark year for me.  I certainly wasn't in the mood for the pro adoption no matter what the consequences brigade being their usual selves.  It rubs me up the wrong we that they encourage adoption no matter what then have the nerve to tell people like me that we use coercive tactics to persuade mothers to keep their babies.  They completely miss the point that adoption is final where as trying parenting first the mothers still have the option of adoption if they can't cope instead of burning their bridges straight away.  A few of us have also been constantly accused of being anti adoption and that we shouldn't be taken any notice off even though we have a wealth of wisdom, common sense, good advice and experience.  One particular adopter has sent me a few nasty messages as well as attacking me publicly so now she has been blocked and I do report her answers when she attacks me or anybody else.   What she has been saying about me is completely untrue so wont (legally) put up with it.     

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