.... when you're having fun.
So much time has gone by since I even looked at this blog let alone posted. The adoption forums that I posted on no longer have a 'pull' - well one changed names after the 'mantle' was passed on. The original one I have tried to go back to but members I liked have either been banned like I was although I have rejoined with a different name or simply don't post anymore. The other hasn't existed for some time. I still check on Facebook for the people that have really mattered to me through the whole reunion disaster and loss of contact. Other strands have come from groups / Facebook friends lists and groups - they help me to keep realitively sane. It would very easy to shut the door on that part of my life but it won't take the pain away, it won't take the memories away, I won't be able to forget. I have revisited Y!A occasionally but I don't have any desire to go back 'there' again either. Maybe I have lost my fight, maybe I have done all I can, maybe I simply need to just be kind to myself.
The past year has had a huge impact on me when my dad died. My sister rang to let me know but I was out during the day then went out for a meal with friends in the evening. She managed to speak to my husband eventually who, in turn, was able to get hold of me. He didn't want to tell me over the phone but fortunately I was about to go home anyway. I knew as soon as he spoke as he started to tell me there was no easy way to tell me and I just said 'My Dad's died'.
It was and will always be the hardest phone call my sister and I will ever have.